Saturday, March 1, 2008

Cats do NOT always land on their feet!

About a month ago I fell down the basement stairs. Now at the time I was not worried that I really hurt myself. Being a Sunday morning I wasn't about to go spend the day sitting in the emergency room when I was quite sure that nothing was broken.

Well it's been a month now and I hate to admit that it was a dumb ass move not to bother to get checked out at least by my family doctor. At the time I somehow landed on my elbow. This morning I was still noticing that I can barely hold the weight of my coffee and needed 2 hands to lift the mug.

I got to wondering if the technicolor bruise on my left butt cheek was still visible and to my surprise it was, but faint. (no photo available) I wouldn't want to scare any children or small animals in the room.

You see I really am a bit of a clutz....have been most of my life. Falling down stairs is my specialty as it started even before I was born. My mom told me she fell down the basement stairs when she was 8 months pregnant with me and was pretty banged up. She was so afraid for me inside her, but was assured by the doctor that all was fine within. My whole life growing up whenever I did some dumb move that involved self inflicted injury my mother always joked that it was because of the fall down the stairs. After awhile I started telling her that yes indeed I did bump my head pretty hard on her ribs and that's why I am the way I am today.

I was staying with my parents a few years ago while waiting for the closing on a house I had purchased. The closings between the sale of my old one and my move in date left a gap of a couple of weeks. I don't recall where I was actually going one evening as I walked out the front door of my parents home with a bottle of wine in hand and did a header down the 5 concrete steps. I guess I must have screamed because my father came rushing outside and found me sprawled out on the sidewalk all dazed and confused. He asked me what happened, as if he didn't know. I told him the bottle of wine fell down the stairs.....with me still holding on to it. I vividly remember seeing the green glass of the bottle as it bounced off the sidewalk and my chin landing full force on the side of a very good vintage. Figuring now I was going to need major plastic surgery to put my face back together I had to laugh out loud which only confused my dad. I proudly held up the bottle and exclaimed that I saved it. Somehow, miraculously, the wine bottle was still intact as was my face except for a huge egg forming swiftly on my chin.

It seems there are numerous occasions that I have bobsledded on my butt down a set of stairs, too many to mention in fact. I'm only talking about sober encounters....you should see what I can do to injure myself after a few open bottles of wine.

...... I recall a fall off a mountain bike in Cozumel Mexico...... Another time...please....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Cat - Boy do I know how you feel. I clonked my elbow a while ago when I fell (it was the dog's fault) and it still bugs me. I hope your elbow recovers soon, if not maybe an x-ray is in order?