I hate having a cold. It started on Monday with a scratchy throat. By Wednesday I had a fever and I felt like there was a vice on my head. When I woke up Thursday I decided enough of this and called in sick. This is not something I do very often. In fact I have not used a sick day in over a year. I think I mostly needed a mental health day more than anything. I get 4 weeks vacation every year and I still need to use last years weeks up. This is so unlike me not to go to sunny Mexico once, if not twice a year just to kick back and get in some scuba diving and only worry about what SPF strength sunscreen I should use.
I already have tentative plans to leave for Mexico next week but now guilt is starting to take over in a big way. My father in-law is having surgery for an aneurysm on Monday so I promised myself I could not leave until I knew he was going to be ok. On Wednesday I got a phone call from my mom telling me my father is not doing well. His health has been steadily declining the last few months and she is afraid he is not going to last very much longer. I am so frustrated. I can’t go to visit my parents with this nasty cold for fear of passing it on to them. I would really hate it if my dad got my cold and it finished him off. I would never be able to forgive myself.
Do I get on the plane and go get some R & R and have this giant guilt cloud hanging over me for the entire trip or do I wait? Till when…..next year?
Personally I feel I’m being rather selfish for wanting to escape my regular life for a while, but on the other hand most of the people that know me well keep telling me that I need to do something for me for a change. This is where frustration sets in big time and I’m starting to get quite stressed about it all. And how do I tell my boss yet again that my vacation plans have been put on hold. I’m glad he is such an understanding person and can look beyond my temporary bouts of insanity. I mean how many bosses let you take a Friday afternoon off to go take photographs of the Tundra swans as they pass through town on their migration path north?
…..Mine does.
4 comments:
No guilt allowed! Do what you need to do, whatever that is. I'm sorry to hear about all the people with health concerns in your family. But take care of yourself first.
I have to agree. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself. Since you can't visit your father while you're sick, why not give him a call and have a good chat. Put the guilt to rest, take your trip, clear your head, and visit everyone when you return. You've put off your vacation for so long, for so many reasons, it's time to go. The older we get and the more responsibilities we acquire, only lead to more reasons, excuses, and guilt keeping us home. If you wait for the perfect time, you'll never go anywhere.
Sorry to hear about your father and father-in-law. Hope everything turns out okay.
Can you put Mexico on hold for just a little bit ? Then you could still go and not feel guilty.
~ Tbonita (Tammy)
Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone. I'm going to my parents place to cook dinner for them tonight and check on them. My father inlaw is still in the hospital, hopefully he will be dicharged soon. (Keeping fingers crossed)
Tammy: I thought about postponing my trip but I'm also up against some tight deadlines at work that I'm trying to work around.
SOLUTION: R-E-T-I-R-E
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